Chuck Norris

If you don't already know who Chuck Norris is... kill yourself. Nevermind, he's already behind you, you're dead.

Chuck Norris wrote this page by kicking his modem in the fucking jaw. And don't argue that modems don't have jaws, or you're next.

The seventh Chuck Norris fact is from The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox. He has a whole chapter devoted to him under 'N'.

Facts

• Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Mr. T while Mr. T simultaneously punched him in the stomach. The result was the 80's.

• Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' Fist

• Chuck Norris has a house that is, in fact, round.

• Chuck Norris always gets Blackjack, even when playing poker.

• Mel Gibson originally cast Chuck Norris as Jesus for his movie, the Passion of the Christ, only to later cut him from the cast. When asked why he made this decision he replied, "It would be a sin to allow Chuck Norris play a lesser role than himself. He was making Jesus look too good."

• One time Chuck Norris was walking around in the forest, looking for hippies to use as firewood, when a wild boar suddenly crossed his path. Big mistake. Chuck lifted the boar into the air with his mind, spun him around, and digested him telekinetically. And Chuck wasn't even hungry.

• The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and s tarred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

External Links

Here are some more Chuck Norris Facts.