Jake

adj.

Slang - Suitable or satisfactory; fine.

noun

Jacob Benjamin Hench (born June 23, 1983)

• A friendly human to be greeted regularly, the elusive Jake is sometimes misunderstood to be crazy. There is also a possibility that he is under the control of Jake's Beard, though evidence for this is still under consideration.
• A prohibition legal alcohol which leads to such fun things as Jake leg and the ever popular Jake walk.

verb

• To make better by adding bacon. "I'll take a cheeseburger, and can you jake that for me."

The Man

Jake was formed from the milk of a goat, elderberries, and a lock of rumplestiltskins chin hair. Although no one is quite certain how any of these materials could make a person, one this is for sure...that Jake has a beard. I had the recent chance to talk to Jake and it was quite interesting.

• Me:"Thank you for taking the time to talk with me."
• Jake:"Who are you?"
• Me:"What is your political stance as far as The Retard Rearing Republicans and The Dickless Drooling Democrats?"
• Jake:"How did you get into my house?"
• Me:"The door was open...Are you trying to avoid the question?"
• Jake:"I should probably call the police!"
• Me:"Indeed you shall, but let me ask you a real question. How does milk, berries, and hair from a mythical legend create a person such as yourself?"
• Jake:"What? They can't! This is dumb! Get the heck out of my house ya bastard!"

Although I did not get the answers I was searching for I did get laid by his supposed mom. Just remember Jacob your house is always open.......and I know where you live.