John

I rule because I'm Zach's main squeeze. (updated by Becky Hawk)

John Vines

Birth & Early Years

Johnathon "P" Vines, aka √(α−e²) was originally born in Yorkshire, England. However, there was much controversy over his birth and some believe that he may have been spawned, much like salmon and halibut are. Either way, John's life was one adventure to the next.

After swimming his way away from the womb (since he was born in the Thames), John embarked on his first adventure at the age of 2 weeks old. Lacking suitable food in the Thames (the fish were actually larger than him at this point and considered him food), John swam to shore. Upon reaching the shore, John promptly snatched up another baby and ate it whole, earning him the nickname, jimbo.